It has been almost 5 months since Payton was diagnosed on the Autism Spectrum. A spectrum I have come to study and gain a better understanding to know our daughters way of thinking. Devin and I were talking about how far she has come since July. In the beginning of therapy we didn't exist at all. It was like groundhogs day all over again everyday. She never looked at us. She never wanted us to play or even come for hugs or kisses when she fell or was sad. She didn't know she had brothers. Since July, she has grown so much. Baby steps of progress but important steps that are essential for life. She is responding to her name when she is not hyper focused. She looks at us in our eyes more often than not. She has mastered two inter verbals. She is trying to say set when we say ready set go and two when we say one, two, three. She is making more sounds than ever before.
She can wait for about 60 seconds which is HUGE.
She holds hands better when we are outside. She still doesn't have receptive language or much expressive language, but we are working hard to get her there. She has been very in tune watching our mouths move when we talk. She has started to mimic clapping and blow kiss when asked. Little things to some parents but HUGE for us. The holiday season is upon us and I always feel like it is bitter sweet. Its one month closer to the 3 year anniversary of my sisters passing, the 1 year of my uncle passing and its hard to ignore the holes in my heart that are yearning for one last hug or one last conversation. Life is so incredibly short. We are full of gratitude for Payton's progress. She has a long way to go but we have come so far already. I cannot wait to see what she can accomplish with the life she was given because the Lord knew she was strong enough to live it. We are leaving for Phoenix for Christmas in a few weeks and we are excited to be with family again because life can get quite lonely when your so far away from the ones you love especially during the months after adjusting to our new normal. What I would give to call my sister and say hey can you come watch the kids while I...... One day I will be able to!
We are so blessed beyond words. We have been given a challenge we never thought we would have to do but it has grown our family stronger. Devin and I have grown so much as parents and we both have our moments of why us, why her, why why why? We quickly think why not? We can do this. The worst part about it all is not being able to just make her better. There is no cure and there is no one reason why and there is no two kids alike on the spectrum, nothing to compare and each and every child's journey is different. The unknown is what eats me inside. When I am down and think I cannot do this anymore, Devin lifts me up. When he is upset and sad I can make him laugh and feel like everything will be OK. We don't know what the future holds for Payton, but we can wake up every morning and say that this girl will change the world and we are so lucky to be her parents.
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